The Angela Adventures – Episode 1, Angela Comes Clean

WE GET TO THE TRUTH!

Ok, we don’t really do that. But I figured I might as well have fun. Angela is now a series of skits.

It didn’t even come to mind until I got almost to the end, where you see you can pay for the program with 3 payments of $5,000, 1 payment of $14,000, or 3 homeless people?!

INCONCEIVABLE! Luckily, there’s plenty of videos for plenty of episodes. Also, take note of the “Spies Like Us”, “Austin Powers”, and Angela in a lovely multi-generational “Doctor, Doctor, Doctor”

A new guide to the scam and some burnout.

I have created a new page about her scam, “The Definitive Guide” I need to polish it, that’s why I’m not publishing the page but posting its link here.

I’ve tried to create a video, 15 – 20 minutes long, that explains everything wrong about The Author Incubator as well as proof.

I’ve had over a dozen takes, and the shortest video is 45 minutes. And all I’m covering is the website’s index, the about page and her philosophy.

There is SO MUCH WRONG that I run over 40 minutes on 3 pages. And every time I run into something new.

I’m a public speaker, I’ve given tech talks to groups of thousands. So I know how to talk, and I know how to read a teleprompter and then speak it. It’s pretty easy. I can even rework concepts to go along with where I’m at, or the conference subject, etc. In other words, I’m pretty decent at it.

But reading what Angela wrote I would end up coming to a hard pause during several of them. They are structured so poorly, are missing  words, or make so little sense that my brain just stops. If I run into a sentence that is too difficult, or I can’t speak, out in the wild on stage I normally just skip it. But her writing is so absolutely grade school bad that I can’t even foresee it’s crap factor and am able to skip it.

So yeah, I suffered. Highly.

Anyway, I’ll continue to slowly work on it. In all honesty Angela may end up in the news and courts before too long. Probably not the news since she’s not a big figure. So I’m going to focus on the other site, where I can tackle other snake oil salesfolk. Because after studying her writing so much I think my brain is rotting.

The Author Castle is a lie, just like Angela isn’t a doctor – and now a tip line!

Just a reminder, while Angela has stolen almost $3,700,000 from people, she still doesn’t have enough money for a $15,000,000 mansion. Despite how much she wants it to be true, she doesn’t own it.

Well, unless her name is Elariny Hazem and she bought it back in 2005.

 

I’ve also opened a new website on a faster web host and I’m looking for new targets to debunk on the web and youtube. While Angela does give me plenty of material to use, when there is such an overwhelming amount of lies, misdirection, and appeals that it really makes the brain ache after awhile. So I’d love for you to point me to someone new!

The psychology of Being Angela

I will admit, this video – being an hour in length – is really long. It’s a fairly raw recording, more of a ‘stream of consciousness’ as we watch together an excerpt of the “Preparing for your Interview” video. In it, I explain all of the psychology that is deeply embedded in everything she says. How Angela Lauria builds your mind up to accept the outrageous price she charges.

I also provide some additional fact checking about her claims. Such as she has no PhD in Communications, because the University doesn’t offer anything like that. There’s no dissertation by her on any of the journals. That’s because she never wrote a dissertation, because there is no PhD. And a 45 year old wouldn’t discuss their dissertation after 15 years anyway. There’s no such thing as a “Publishing Coach” from the IICS. How she copies the exact Ponzi scheme structure from Life Coaching circles.  How TheAuthorIncubator.com isn’t a website about publishing a book, it’s an alter unto her by her. The lack of consistency – stating she has 10 years in the industry, then saying over 20 years 2 paragraphs further. He incorrect use of the FTC disclaimer, her dodgy ‘Philosophy’ that isn’t.

I made and stopped almost a dozen recordings. I wanted to hit around 15 minutes, but with a subject like this, it’s difficult. Her writing is so poor and inconsistent, and there are so many red flags about her. Why would a website that supposedly there to help you feature a heavily edited photo of her? Why does she make sure every page has a note about her being a doctor? Easy: I posit she has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, most likely the subtype of “Fanatic Narcissist”. It’s long, but interesting. I intend to make shorter videos in the future. Perhaps 1 or 2 pages of her website at a time. Anything specific you’d like to know, or if something rubs you wrong about her and you’re not sure why, just ask.

Angela Lauria, my number 1 visitor: The use of your copywritten video is allowed under US Code Title 17, Chapter 1, Statute 107; referred to as the “Fair Use Doctrine”. It states, in part, that “The fair use of a copyrighted work, including reproduction by any means for purposes such as criticism, comment, new reporting, teaching, scholarship, or research, is not an infringement of copyright.

Furthermore, this content does not violate the DMCA, and filing a false DMCA takedown request is a criminal act under Federal Laws.
You would know this if you had any education in publishing, but I have to tell you because you don’t.

So, how do I do this? I’ll answer under the video.

 

 

 

It’s actually interesting how I do this. While I’ve had a lot of formal study in crisis management and the psychology of several disciplines, the real reason why I can point this stuff out is because of I have a super power.

Ok, it’s really not a super power, it’s actually a dysfunction with one of my dopamingeric pathways – the one responsible for executive functions. Executive functions cover a wide range of subjects, but can most easily be summed up as it is the area where we learn things.

My specific problem is my mind bypasses what they call ‘working memory’. Working memory is where you store new information before it’s categorized and its importance is defined. So for me, I can’t figure out importance or category – it all either goes into short-term memory, long-term memory, or I subconsciously repeat it over and over.

So I retain entire situations in stunning detail. So for Angela, everything she has written that I’ve read, or recorded that I watched, all goes into an area of my brain. Take some training in psychology, sociology and a lot of personal study into how con artists work, and there you go. The brain is exceptional at finding patterns, or noticing the lack there of. Most psychological disorders have a clear and concise criteria that identifies the behavior for a given disease. When I have enough data in my brain, there’s a moment of alacrity. Then I write it down.

It’s why I always try to choose a positive response in most scenarios; it’s the choice that least negatively impacts my surroundings, which is good if I don’t know why someone did something. Like cut me off in traffic. Try it.

You guys are awesome

Every now and then I get emails from Kindle that look like this:

Notification that I have incoming royalties from my 100% blank book I put on sale over a year ago. Sure, it’s just one person buying it as a ‘thanks’ perhaps 3 times a year, but I still think it’s cool.

I also think it’s hilarious that it’s ranked #474 in the Human-Computer Interface Category.

So thanks guys, stuff like this always comes in right when I’m feeling like it’s all for nothing.

Let me just remind you of a sample book Angela calls a “#1 Bestseller” and that the author paid her a MINIMUM of $15,000:

Actual results of a book Angela Lauria charged at least $15,000 for calls a “#1”

I’m using one of best selling books in the list I’m currently tracking via KDSpy. A book Angela Lauria has called a “#1 Best Seller”.
Over 274 days tracked (Graph only shows the last 30 data points) the book has an estimated sales revenue of $609.

Someone paid $15,000 for Angela to publish a book that has made $609 dollars.

Hundreds of people have done it.

Occasionally I’m asked about the ‘success stories’ she posts. They are all paid for advertising. Don’t believe me? Look at this odd FTC Disclosure that shows up at the bottom of the site now.

“Any products, programs, or personal recommendations made in this or any email communication from The Author Incubator for 3rd parties will likely result in some form of compensation from said 3rd party.”

The FTC Disclosure is an attempt to hold companies responsible for truth-in-advertising. To try to conform to the regulations, she’s posted a link at the bottom left of the website. However, the FTC says that you disclose it’s a paid endorsement on the media doing said endorsement. So in the video itself. It’s not expected for a person watching a video to then have to perform a search to figure out if it’s a paid endorsement or not.

Additionally, her videos themselves are in violation of what she is trying to pretend to adhere to. From FTC.Gov:

We want to run ads featuring endorsements from consumers who achieved the best results with our company’s product. Can we do that?

Testimonials claiming specific results usually will be interpreted to mean that the endorser’s experience reflects what others can also expect. Statements like “Results not typical” or “Individual results may vary” won’t change that interpretation. That leaves advertisers with two choices:

1. Have adequate proof to back up the claim that the results shown in the ad are typical, or

2. Clearly and conspicuously disclose the generally expected performance in the circumstances shown in the ad.

She does not do either. There’s no proof presented confirming these past authors are making “10000s of thousands of dollars”. And I have yet to see any disclosure of the expected performance, let alone one that is clear and conspicuous. But the fact that she actually finally admits a tiny bit of this program shows that this website works and that our constant diligence to link anyone asking about her program here seems to be having an effect.

Oh, and I have… heard rumors.. that people keep asking her about proof and then are immediately banned. I tried it on an alt account. I have never been muted so quickly! That is suspicious to me. She obviously has someone who’s solely dedicated to hovering the mouse over the mute button. And muted, for what? Simply asking if she has anything published regarding proof. Weird.

Really, that should have a disclosure attached to it. Really, 2 disclosures. It should look like this, if she truly wanted to adhere to the FTC guidelines:

Now, there could be people who weren’t compensated that are saying how great the program is. That’s actually to be expected. It’s a construct of psychology. If you pay a large amount of money to someone – especially if (As she has stated over and over again) you’re homeless and get a loan for $15,000 (I’ve been homeless. I used to volunteer a ton of time at a homeless center in St. Paul. Never once did I meet someone who was homeless but had such excellent credit they secured a large unsecured loan just to publish a book) the last thing you will want to do is actually admit it was all a fraud. She is a specialized predatory in finding people who mainly deal with … ermm.. let me just say “non-traditional science”.

Looking at it from a higher level, she is what is wrong with the country. Not her personally, but what she does. I think our country has gone a bit feral ever since World War 2 ended. It’s been a long time when we, as a country, had to suffer. We’ve never had massive drives to gather plastic or metal. We haven’t had, nor do we know anyone, that went through a Great Depression. Or a Dust Bowl. Typhoid. Black Plague. Not even 9/11 brought us together. Outside of New York, most people were outraged for a few months, but to the vast majority of the country those events didn’t affect them personally in any appreciable way.

That basically leads to us becoming more and more self-centered every generation. How you respond to a situation is a choice. You can be positive, or negative.

Let me explain what I mean with a story.

I have a friend in his 50s. He tells me a lot of crazy stories, like almost getting into a fist fight in the middle of the road because the woman in a van of Mom, Dad, and 2 girls told him to ‘Calm his tits’. It almost ended in a fight.

Why? He took it personally. “Calm your tits” felt like a deliberate act of disrespect.

Or another one. In Home Depot one day, he was ‘cut off’ by an ‘Indian couple’. So he said “Excuse me”. Then a little louder “Excuseeee Meeeeee”. They turned around and said what? He said you cut me off, apologize. And there was a couple other snarky digs on either side later on.

He felt disrespected. He chose to view the action as negative. And decided if he’s pissed off, so should they.

I asked their age, and he said probably mid 20s. So I said to him “Does it make sense they would cut in front of you in a deliberate act? Honestly, how I would chosen to view it is: Indian gentleman busts his ass and manages to get high enough scores to come to America and get his degree. During that time he’ll go back and get married. He recently gotten his degree and landed a good job. He is so excited because his wife is finally coming home, to America, after having not seen her much at all. And they are in Home Depot, so they must have bought a house! So they are here, excitedly talking about their new happy life and dreaming as they go down the aisle. They were so caught up they didn’t see him. There was no collision. They didn’t knock his cart over. They just didn’t see it. And you decided that they randomly wanted to piss you off, so you then pissed them off. You took a happy excited couple and crapped all over it. ”

Which story is the true one? We’ll never know. But isn’t it just better to assume they aren’t actively trying to be assholes and instead, were so happy about the future they just didn’t see him. All I know is, for me, it takes a lot more energy to be angry and lash out. Just assume positive and move on. That’s how the country used to be. We all just assumed the other person didn’t mean it, we said nothing and had no anger and 30 seconds later forgot all about it. But my friend prefers to let it make him angry, and then he fosters that anger. And remembers it. And it feeds into more anger.

It’s just not needed.

Angela is another self-centered amoral business person happily stealing from people and then lying to the masses. It works because she GENUINELY believes her own bullshit. There’s another psychological concept that explains it. It’s called repression. Or suppression. Honestly, it’s somewhere in the middle. Her conscious mind is obviously aware that her program doesn’t do anything. That she’s immorally getting money from people. Now, usually people can sense that – something seems ‘off’. However, because her subconscious mind actively shields these harmful truths about how its wrong, she comes off as being genuine.

But she’s been doing it for so many years now, I think people are seeing the cracks.

Why is that hashtag at the bottom of her website? She probably made some newsletter post about it. Yeah, just checked, from September 7th, 2017.  And it’s an email about how people don’t like what she did and her laughing at it. There’s an actual blog post that mentions it in August.

But on August 25th, 2016 she posted about “Our first scholarship… #BlackLivesMatter” Can you guess the race? You got it.

Angela is so unbiased, she doesn’t see color in people at all. And here’s a blog post about how great and open she is and a picture of black gentleman. Doesn’t it just fill you with pride in her, to see how she’s giving back to the community so much she tells you all about it.

It’s not the things you publicize that makes the person, it’s the stuff you don’t talk about. I read a post on Quora from a 35 year mail carrier in Houston. He said “Hey, did you know we don’t have AC? Never had it. Might possibly had it in 2020? Freeze a bottle of water, then put it in the mailbox with the flag up”.

Blew me away. For 4 decades, I never gave the mail delivery any thought. But yeah, people put it there. So I tried the frozen water bottle, but couldn’t get them to not split open. And I figured other delivery people would like the same thing. So I just put a minifridge in the front door with a note and left the carrier a note about it in the mailbox. Besides my wife, you folks are the only ones I’m telling about it. And I did it a week ago.

Morally straight people do good things quietly. Amoral people do good things only when they can share it all over the place and let the public see how good and pure they are.

Congratulations, Angela has accepted you – plus the ACTUAL COST of her program! BREAKING NEWS!

An outraged author recently made us privy to a page Scamgela doesn’t have a direct link to. The page, titled “Preparing for your interview“, is a 24 minute insight into her whole program. And it’s the only time I’ve actually heard he say what the price is.

I won’t spend the better part of a half hour slowly wearing you down until I announce the amount (Skip to 16:26 to hear it yourself), I’m just going to tell you right now:

3 payments of $5,000, or $14,000 in one lump sum. 

Yes, (and this is for search engines, based on common terms people use to get here) The cost of the “The Author Incubator” program by Angela Lauria is $15,000.

In the buildup, she makes many statements not backed up with anything a reasonable person could fact check for themselves. Things like:

  • She managed to get 3 homeless people to pay for her program. (Side note: Isn’t that a bit heartless?)
  • She states she has 3-4 authors making over 1 million dollars a year
  • She states the average a nonfiction author makes is $1500, but her authors average $86,000/year.
    How? Here’s the spy results of one of her ‘cherished authors’:

    ZERO SALES, ZERO REVENUE FOR THE PAST 32 DAYS.
  • States that a book proposal is all about marketing. It is not. If she was actually involved in literature, she’d understand that. A book proposal answers 2 questions: Why should a publisher invest in your book, and why are you the person to write it?
    Publishers are NOT the bad guys, they are the ones that do all the heavy lifting once a book is written. They are investing in YOU.
  • SHE BOLDLY STATES YOU’LL MAKE $10,000 – $30,000 STARTING YOUR FIRST MONTH! 
    DID YOU KNOW? Since she promised it to you, she entered a binding ‘express contract’ with you. If you haven’t made $10,000/month, sue her. Almost worth throwing away $15,000 right?

 

That video genuinely pisses me off to no degree. I’m grinding my teeth as I right this and pounding on the keyboard. It shows such a huge lack of ethics and morals I can’t understand why anyone would give her 1 cent, let alone $14,000. (By the way: 12 authors per month, at $14,000 per author, means Angela is stealing over $2 million a year from you. That’s a felony. Someone really should contact a lawyer.)

Her brazen unconscionability is all in this video!!

By the way, Angela, you really should look up Unconscionability, I have a feeling you’ll become intimately familiar with the term quite soon.
Definition: Unconscionability is a doctrine in contract law that describes terms that are so extremely unjust, or overwhelmingly one-sided in favor of the party who has the superior bargaining power, that they are contrary to good conscience.

Throughout this whole process she puts you through, you’re being groomed. “Grooming” is what predators do to lower your inhibitions, like how you would – obviously – have an objection for paying such an insane amount – but her whole process is setup to get you ‘ready’ for her.

Furthermore:

  • She has literally provided ZERO proof of any claims she has ever made.
  • This video beings with her referring to herself as “Dr. Angela”. Again, that’s
  • She really makes her money by exploiting two psychological terms – suggestability and misattribution – common tactics quite popular with sociopaths.
  • Throughout the video, she crudely attempts to imprint the ‘scarcity’ of her offer and works to raise a sense of urgency about her program (Spending 5 minutes explaining why you should tell her ‘no’ if you don’t want to go through with the program – how is that appropriate in a ‘congratulatory’ video?). Psychologically, these are common tactics conmen use. By making you feel special (There’s a limited number of slots open), and telling you to say no quickly if you don’t want to go through with the program (By repeatedly stressing how you must be nice and tell them no if you change your mind she’s imparting guilt into your mind. You would feel guilty, or wasteful, if you said yes then ghosted)
  • Again, she further on states how she only wants to work with people who “Want to make 150,000 to 300,000 per year”. Why that specific range? Again, another predatory psychological tactic. Without going into the science toooo much, $150,000 – $300,000 will seem like an income significantly larger than her ‘mark’ currently makes, but it’s not outside the realm of plausibility. It seems like a tangible goal. Versus saying you will make 25,000,000 to 50,000,000. That’s ludicrous. But it wouldn’t be crazy to a millionaire, especially if she was instead charging $300,000 for her services.  Proportions, yo.
  • Everything is centered on her ego and on what she wants. She practically insults those that link is sent to, giving a pandering 3 minutes and 45 second explanation of why she can’t congratulate you in purpose.
  • She calls her junior scammers “Talent Scouts”. That terminology used to be huge in IT – say you’re looking for ‘talent’ and not ’employees’ and suddenly a mundane job seems sexy. Same thing here. \
  • After the big reveal of the cost in the video, she spends a large amount of time telling you how to find that money – trust fund, line of credit at the bank, new credit card, mortgage the house etc etc – does that sound like something that someone who intends to help you would say? It doesn’t to me.

In the several years I’ve studied this woman I’ve learned 2 things about her:

  1. She loves to tell stories about herself
  2. She has ZERO knowledge at all of how the publishing industry works.

If you suck at marketing, that’s fair. But if you have a book you want to get published, you take on a literary agent.  Just like being accepted by a publisher, an agent is free – they work on commission. Which means they have an extremely strong desire to get you the best deal possible. Because their livelihood depends on selling your book.

The whole industry is commission based. Writers rarely have to spend such insane amounts that she’s asking, simply to get published.

Look at it this way:

If her program truly worked. If you truly made a minimum of $10,000/month from your book the first month and then some, Angela Lauria would be an idiot to charge $15,000 for her services. Why? Because if the program actually worked and actually made you money she would give it away in exchange for a 10% commission. Within 3 years (And remember, we’re using the minimums she said you’d make), she would be making over $20,000,000/year. $20,736,000 to be exact. 

But it doesn’t work. It only makes her richer. And you fell for it. And then you’re to tied up in NDAs and madness to tell your story to the world. 

Coming soon – an in-depth analysis of the video shown on “Preparing for your interview” – I will show you in detail how she’s fucking with you.

And, I have to say, if you look at the video and compare it to the pictures on the main site – it’s like there’s 2 different people.

 

Read more

Someone hurry up and tell Angela!

Someone needs to let Angela know that she can now pay for a 2018 spot on Inc. 5000.

Just fill out those forms Angie, and drop $175 down to have another fake ‘award’ for your fake life.

 

How about a testimonial for you folks, too?

default image

Have you seen this horrific article in Washingtonian about her? https://www.washingtonian.com/2017/11/03/can-angela-lauria-make-a-self-help-author-and-life-coach-out-of-anyone-who-can-afford-her-15000-fee/ I went to college with her (GW). Later she turned back up in my orbit when a great friend of mine who had released an e-book through her told me about what a scam it all was. That friend has since passed away, and I remain completely disgusted about the scam. The reason I searched her name today was that I saw a seriously vomitous youtube commercial today by Lauria. I am SO glad you have started this site. I feel awful for my late friend who was duped (and she was a very smart and talented person so if she could be taken in it's very serious). Anyway, thank you for trying to get the word out about her. Best, Anonymous

Hurt January 26, 2018

Angela in the news

A tip of the hat to the anonymous crusader that sent me the following link.

Oddly enough, Scamgela doesn’t link it on her website, but the November 2017 Washingtonian posted an article entitled “Can This Woman Make a Self-Help Author and Life Coach Out Anyone Who Can Afford Her $15,000 Fee?

Seems like the rest of the world is starting to doubt the benefits of paying her $15,000 to self-publish a book.

Some quotes from the article I love:

Lauria, 44, looks a bit like Liza Minnelli if Liza went platinum and got a fauxhawk. Her 16,000-square-foot home—where she lives with her husband and son—has eight bedrooms, a panoramic view of the Potomac River, and an indoor swimming pool.

For another $35,000, she offers an upgrade that gives writers a year of Lauria’s marketing work, a dedicated editor (most manuscripts need a line edit, but some require, in Lauria’s words, a “holy shit” edit), and a print version of their book released by her own publishing house, Difference Press. Dozens of titles, Lauria says, have made it into chains including Barnes & Noble and Target.

With all her flair, it may seem as if Lauria is selling cubic zirconia.

But for now, at least from 4 to 5 today, the nine books being released are downloadable for free. That’s why most will hit number one in some category on Amazon. It’s also why so many of Lauria’s authors refer to themselves as “bestselling.”

“There is a bestseller in every category in every given hour,” says DC literary agent Gail Ross, whose clients include Eric Holder and Jonathan Chait. “Especially if you give that book away for an hour.”

Lauria and her eating-up-the-stage presence border on camp, like Christopher Guest sending up a Tony Robbins “Unleash the Power Within” seminar. For more than two hours, she brings her authors onstage for an Access Hollywood–type interview

It’s the nonstop patter of a QVC host—which is to say Lauria’s resting heart rate. This is the woman who wrote her latest, Make ’Em Beg to Publish Your Book: How to Reach a Larger Audience & Make a Full-Time Income in the Extremely Overcrowded World of Personal Development, on a weeklong cruise down the Danube. (Asked how the book was doing, Lauria was dodgy. “The answer is thousands,” she e-mailed, “but there are so many variables, we would literally need a three-hour meeting to define terms.”) “If everything we’ve talked about in this book doesn’t light a fire under the publisher’s ass to pick you,” she says in Make ’Em Beg, “it’s time to go nuclear.”

Going nuclear, in Incubator parlance, is self-publishing.

More lies and self-promotion fud

Being subscribed to Scamgela’s email list is truly a fascinating study on just how the mind of a scammer and narcissist works. I just wish people would do their own independent research, rather than blindly trust what she says. Remember, she wants your money, and will say anything to get as much of it as possible regardless of how easily refuted it is.

Example:

Proving yet another false ‘best seller’

One would assume that a “best seller” would garner more than 28 views. And I’m curious how Amazon ranks her book at #183,011, yet somehow that means it’s a best seller?

Angela does have a weak vocabulary, perhaps she isn’t aware of the actual definition.

best·sell·er
ˌbestˈselər
noun
noun: best-seller
  1. a book or other product that sells in very large numbers.

Nothing she has written or published has ever shown up on the New York Times’ Best Sellers list – I’ve been checking and searching, but keep coming up with zero,

And she wouldn’t be a narcissist without always telling some tale of her life in every email – it’s never about the people she actually “publishes”.

And this one is great, I laughed a solid 10 minutes after reading it:

BWAHAHAH. Only a small number of actual authors are regularly recognized and approached in public, and ZERO publishers are. If she’s supposedly being stopped for selfies, then something is amiss. Because it should always be about you, the author, and not the ego of the publisher. I’ve searched through Instagram and Twitter and can’t find anyone having taken a ‘selfie’ with her and posted it. And honestly, if you look at all the pics she posts – her hair freshly dyed and coiffed, 3 inches of foundation packed into her wrinkles, and then saw her in person you’d keep on walking.

Hopeful authors, remember; email updates, videos, etc should always be focusing on you or other authors – never the publisher. If she’s doing her job correctly, she should be invisible. Instead, every email, every video, contains Angela talking about Angela, with the occasional mention of one of her authors thrown in to somehow try to connect it. Angela cares about 2 things – 1. Angela and 2. Money, that’s why she’s always talking about herself and is willing to go so far as to exploit her son and drag her father’s name through the mud to try to prove to you that somehow she’s legit.

And really, if she was legit, then there wouldn’t be 41 upvotes in 24 hours to my Quora answer to the question “What is the biggest scam you’ve ever seen?

Just some food for thought – be careful out there, behind every legit publisher, there’s 9000 Angela’s just waiting to talk you out of your retirement.